Bringing harmony home
The formative years
I began offering piano lessons when I was 16 years old. I had been singing and learning to play since I was 4, and honestly, having not much enjoyed the knee knocking performance aspect, decided that for one of my first forays into the world of work, I could make an effort to provide fun piano tuition for young children just starting out, after years of what felt slightly like torment!
However it was only as I began to really hit my stride some years into my 20s, that I realised I was bearing witness to an incredibly special process lesson by lesson, via each and every one of my pupils.
I was witnessing growth and repair.
All of my students had special needs, (a term I use now to describe any adult or child seeking external support during a challenging time in their lives) that were surmounted through playing the jolly piano...
I saw a child who was selectively mute become a jazz aficiando within a year, and through learning to communicate musically, found the confidence to again use his voice and speak.
I taught another child who was being bullied, and through making her way through exams and sharing with me each week about her struggles, built resilience and overcame her insecurities one by one.
I had a student who so fully embraced his love of show and rock music, he came out as transgender to his friends and family, after sharing the news with me first mid-lesson. He went on to become quite the accomplished theatre pianist and I heard recently, had married the love of his life.
I held weekly baby rhythm sessions and watched a mother with post-partum depression play and slowly bond with her child, after 6 months of feeling alien to her.
I had a student grieve her way through divorce through learning the most melancholic classical music we could find. Never have I see a student cry so freely, or witnessed such brave vulnerability.
I soon began to realise there was so much more to my role than teaching and there was something truly powerful in the musical experience. I was completely unconsciously, giving my students a place to come to heal and to grow.
A light went on.
By this time I was living in Zurich, with a fresh Psychology, Philosophy and Literature degree after a 9 year part time haul, and an assortment of music teaching qualifications, working as a nanny and teacher, just sort of bumbling along with what I had, knowing there must be a way to conflate my education and skills into one career, but with no clue how. Until one day I happened across a very special research based music programme.
It was love at first hearing of this upbeat, melodic, rhythmic and worldly repertoire. The baby I was caring for at the time (now 11 years old and still my favourite person in the world) also plainly derived as much immense joy from the tunes. We (Mum included) spent hours a day singing, dancing, driving and playing to this music. I even remember watching this little person take his first steps with a version of She’ll Be Coming Round The Mountain tinkling away in the background!
Via music, and the movement that naturally accompanies it, every action of every day as a nanny and teacher suddenly then became more open, communicative and playful. In so, every day ultimately became more joyful.
I had always known it. I had known it from the day my grandfather sat me on his lap at the piano (that I still have) and played me a magical rendition of Chariots of Fire by ear, that music was transportive. But it was not until my adulthood, that I realised it was also transformative.
I could not help but then go on to study, not only in arts therapy, but therapeutic music and sound healing with some of the best and brightest.
Wisdom
Here is most simply what I have learned about the transformative powers of music for children and families, which I hope will be helpful in passing on to you:
Research (and experience) tells us that it truly does not matter if you can sing in tune or dance 'well' when enjoying music. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard parents say ‘But I can’t sing!’. The benefit truly lies in the active participation. Your child will not remember you singing out of tune! They will only remember that you sang with them and to them.
Music learning supports ALL learning. Research tells us that music supports cognitive, language, emotional, social and physical development as well as dispositions toward behaviours that contribute to competent learning.
When times get tough, sing! You haven’t slept, the children are grumpy, you’ve moved house, your 4 year old just won’t put his socks on… sing your way through it. Music neurobiologically lifts us, decreases stress and supports flow and ease in our lives.
Over time, bringing music into the home helps with issues that may be occurring such as turn taking, eye contact, listening and concentration, anticipation and transitions, awareness of self and others and developing empathy.
Music brings children, parents, teachers, families and friends into closer community, through the shared experience of music making.
The participation in musical experience with a child is essential to the secure bonds of attachment between you and your child. You may not believe this, but it is true! Music can be one of the most wonderful nonverbal means of communication that you will ever experience together. It quite literally brings harmony into your home.
All children, and ALL adults are musical. Truly. I promise you.
I have attached some music here for you to enjoy and I am currently hosting Parent and Baby Music and Movement bonding sessions at the LCP Chelsea Clinic on a Saturday morning.
Come along! I would love to see you and support you in bringing Harmony into Your Home.